Things to do while locked in a bathroom at home

Okay, I'm taking the low road tonight. I don't have the patience to deal with yet another frustratingly long bedtime debacle with Max. So after repeatedly putting him back in his bed without speaking to him, and sitting it out in the middle of their room and trying to silently slip away without success (thanks for nothin' Super Nanny!), I had to go to the bathroom so damn bad. Of course, Max immediately popped his head up and I ran ahead and locked the bathroom door with me on one side and Max on the other side.

Before I go any further, I will disclaim that Kyle is indeed in the house, so no mistreatment or neglect of Max occurred while I was in the bathroom away from him. I will also disclaim that I love my little boy a lot, but this Momma's boy stuff is for the birds.

Anyway...

What does one do while alone in the bathroom after successfully completing the initial objective (and the hands have been washed) but decides to wait until the temper tantrum subsides on the other side? If you ever find yourself in such a predicament, here's a few suggestions (in no particular order):

* take a long, hot bath
* shave
* pluck those unsightly chin hairs
* mask and tone your face
* clip your nails
* if you actually store your cleaning supplies in your bathroom, clean the bathroom
* brush and floss teeth
* count the tiles
* drink plenty of water (because the toilet's right there when your bladder is full)
* do yoga (only poses suitable for small spaces)
* brush and floss your teeth
* gargle with mouthwash (and if necessary, take a swig)
* clean your ears
* brush your hair 100 times
* sing songs (the acoustics usually rock in bathrooms)
* practice your smile in the mirror
* write a soap message on the mirror for your loved one to see later after it's all fogged up

And of course, since I obviously have my blackberry with me (don't ask!), there's a whole other list of ideas:

* check out the NCAA basketball scores on cbssports.com
* keep up correspondences via facebook
* RAFT all work emails
* plan out the next day's workload
* jot a few thoughts about one's self-appraisal
* play BrickBreaker
* make a few phonecalls
* twitter
* read up on cnn.com
* check out tomorrow's weather so you can mentally prepare what to wear
* watch goofy things on youtube.com
* install unnecessary apps
* calculate stuff on the calculator
* review appointments on the calendar
* make up new appointments to look like you're busy and super-important or a social rockstar
* write haikus
* google your name (boring!)
* hide all the apps you have no idea what their usefulness is
* take pictures and send them to facebook or flickr
* blog about locking yourself in the bathroom. Make every attempt to sound clever, yet don't be too lengthy (also, try to not sound too crazy in the head doing it--duh!)

Okay...so the boy seems to be asleep. I can get back to the rest of my life now. It's been a blissful 45 minutes though. Hope you find some pf my suggestions useful. Make any additions you'd like in the comments section. This could be or may have been you at some time.

Clearly not a sports fan

Who, in their right mind, schedules a training on Monday, September 8th at the same time the Minnesota Vikings open their regular season against Green Bay at Packer Stadium? Apparently our pastor does. He's not from around these parts (he's formerly from the Diocese of Arlington), so he just doesn't understand.

Ugh.

One of the most independent senators...

I'll say! They are so far gone that his wife couldn't even be in the same room with him--literally. Crappy graphic effects...