The dream that could almost be real

Apparently, it was a dreamy night last night. I noticed a facebook friend posted a blog post about his almost sleepless night. I slept really well and had many dreams. Some made me sad and left wanting more, one in particular made me roll my eyes and chuckle. This is what remained as I reconstructed the dream aloud:

My in-laws were house-sitting prior to leaving on a trip to London. My mother-in-law called us once they got to London and left a voicemail saying, "Hi, we are in London, but wanted to let you know that it seems we accidentally set our friends' house on fire. We called 911, but couldn't stay because we didn't want to miss our flight. Just wanted to let you know. Talk to you later. Love ya. Bye!"

After relaying this to Kyle this morning, I laughed and said, "Part of me wouldn't put it past your mom to do exactly that. She's so set in her ways." Kyle piqued an eyebrow, paused and said, "You're probably right."

An Evening at Home

Now that I'm so far removed from any sort of single life (did I even have one?) it's nice how an evening at home like tonight can be better than an evening out.

We have had dinner; the dishes are washed, wiped and put away. Max is downstairs with Kyle, and I just finished sitting alongside Cate as she did her homework.

Cate's homework this evening was a worksheet on fractions along with word work and 30 minutes of reading. Kyle and I are a tag team duo when it comes to reviewing her work; Kyle is on math detail, I am on writing detail. The word work exercise today was to take five of her spelling words and break them down into smaller words--think 'Boggle.' So in this case, one word was 'president.' One goes with: rip, dent, is, sip, rip, end, pen, rent, side, ripe, rest, tender, drip, ripe, etc. I can't contain myself. I watch her write down two-, three-, some four-letter words and then I go into charades or fill-in-the-blank questions to get her to figure other words out. I have to wonder how much 'help' a parent should give their child to complete their homework to the best of their ability. What value or lesson am I giving her when she's basically writing down the words I come up with that she figured out through my clues?

While I was sitting with Cate at the dining room table, Kyle came upstairs to tell us Max was reading a Calvin and Hobbes book out loud and came across the strip where Calvin wanted to pretend to be two-dimensional. Max paused for a quick moment, then said, 'but Calvin already is two-dimensional; he's in a book!' What a smart, yet literal goofball.

So while Max is reading and having profound thoughts, Kyle works on laundry. The washing machine's rhythmic 'whirr-whirr-whirr' sound is making its way upstairs and it's almost enough to put me to sleep. Every once in a while I can hear little Max chattering away.

Cate has settled down for her reading time. Yesterday, I bought a couple of books for her--a simple biography of Anne Frank for a book report that needed to be done, and "The Diary of a Young Girl." For whatever reason, Cate has already loaned out "The Diary of a Young Girl" to one of her classmates. While I'm fine with Cate loaning out one of her books, I'd certainly rather she wait until she's read it first. So instead of reading her new book, she is re-reading a fairy book that is two grades below her level. I guess I should just be glad she's reading quietly on her own.

Max will eventually be sent upstairs to go to bed. He'll hop up onto where I'm sitting, cuddle into my arms and practically purr. His hands are cold from being in the basement which surprises me a little. I could let him fall asleep in my lap, but then I wouldn't get anything else done. So I have taken to slowly counting to ten. Once I get to ten, he is ready to take my hand, go to his room and get tucked in. I will remember to grab Kyle's ipod and play the Rio soundtrack for him. After a kiss on his forehead, he turns over and burrows further under blankets and will soon be fast asleep. He has a night light that's never on and he likes the door closed.

After the second time Cate comes out of her room telling me she forgot to do something, she will finally stay in her room for the rest of the night. Her ipod will be hooked up to her speaker and I will be able to clearly hear the songs from 20 feet away in the living room. I have no idea how she can fall asleep when the music is that loud. She still prefers her door to be left open a little and a night light dimly illuminates one corner of her room.

The kids are now in bed. It's nice and quiet. The washer has done whirr-whirr-whirring one load and now it's the dryer's turn to tumble. Since I've been sitting here typing away, I've noticed I'm chilled. Time to get a blanket. I don't have anything in particular to do this evening and it's rare to find something interesting enough on TV for me to tune in for, so I'll grab the new biography of Queen Elizabeth II and flip a page or two. Kyle's got some TV program on downstairs and he'll continue to move the laundry. Hopefully, my work email will be quiet for a while and I'll learn how 'Lilibet' comes to meet and marry Philip.

Eventually, I won't be able to keep my eyelids open anymore and I'll fall asleep on the loveseat. Kyle will peek in and chuckle to himself as I'm snoring and drooling away. He'll lean over and ask me if I'd rather stay on the loveseat or go down to bed. Depending on how coherent I am, I will likely end up stumbling my way downstairs and slink right into bed. The next morning, I'll vaguely remember how I got there, but hopefully I'll have slept so soundly that I will wake up remembering my dreams, which is always a pleasant way to start out a new day.

Ahh, and then the cycle repeats again in some way, shape or form...

I write this because I'm often too preoccupied with other thoughts in my head that I truly don't slow down and remain in the moment.  The mental list of things to do, things I've put off doing, things I wish I could do, worries of the day / week / month / life can easily derail any momentum I might have and pull me down and away from the people who love me most.  But when I took a step back to just 'be' and account for how just an evening at home can be fulfilling for the soul, it made me thankful for what a lucky girl I truly am.  I hope everyone can take a moment to just 'be' and be thankful for the simple and good things that happen in our lives today.  In this moment.  Now.

Another Year Has Ended, A New One Has Begun

This was the first year we allowed the kids to stay up to ring in the New Year.  In years' past, we have celebrated with another couple or with other family members, but since we recently returned from a traveling Christmas vacation, we laid low and stayed home.

Kyle grilled steak and we paired it with green beans and fresh, warm bread.  Since it was a special evening, the kids helped me dress the table with a tablecloth, complete with cloth napkins and our finest dishes and glassware.  We even brought out small cordials so the kids might enjoy some sparkling white grape juice, which was received with, "Ooh! it tastes spicy!" and "I don't like the bubbles, Mom!"

After dinner, we busted out Max's new set of dominoes and played Mexican Train.  It was Max's first time and he picked up the gist of the game pretty quickly.  He preferred to help others out forsaking his own line when he had a chance to play something better. There's no competitive spirit built up within him yet. In due time, I'm sure.

We enjoyed dessert of chocolate cake and cheesecake, then proceeded to watch Cate and Kyle shake an arm or something slightly recognizable as dance to Wii's Just Dance 3.  And sure enough, we couldn't have the countdown without turning to Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve Countdown.  Once it hit midnight, the glasses clinked, Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber were sighted and the kids were then promptly sent to bed without complaint. For the next day, we were opening our home to guests.

Every January 1, for what I believe has been six years now, we have invited a small group of family and friends to enjoy an Ebelskiver Breakfast and Aquavit to toast in the New Year.  Unlike last year, when we ran out of key ingredients before the kitchen officially closed, we made sure we had enough to feed those who stepped in the door.  This year, we made brunch for twenty-four, including ourselves.  The newest attendees were Kyle's friends Shawn and Kristen with their daughter Ivy, who is a sweet little girl.

The first arrivals were quickly put to work.  Jen and Tim helped lay everything out and Tim was supreme bacon fryer until the first batch of Ebilskiver was ready.  Then everyone else slowly made their way over and over the course of four hours there were three Aquavit toasts to the new year.  We closed the kitchen at two.

The Coleman family stayed the afternoon and we all played the day away.  The grown-ups played Mexican Train, which became increasingly more strategic as the rounds went on.  Max & Colleen put together an impressive pet store in Max's room and the three older kids scored high on Just Dance 3 and dug into the Legos, breaking only for lunch.

Friends, family, food, drink, games, laughter, and taking it easy.  All in all, it was a great close to one year and beginning to another.

Holy wookie, Uncle Carl!

This is what Max thinks of the shirt (the one he has on in this photo) Uncle Carl, Aunt Claire and cousins sent him for his recent birthday...

A Sunday Trifecta in May

Yesterday was an amazing day for our little family. Kyle turned 39 with little pomp and circumstance. I promised I would make up for it in the near future.

Most importantly, Cate received her First Communion at a beautiful Mass witnessed by the church community and 20 family members. I am pretty positive that Cate had the largest contingent of loved ones there out of the 10 First Communicants. It was so wonderful to sit across the way and exchange a glance or two from my parents, siblings and friends during Mass.

(the sixteen guests taking up more than one row of seating)

Cate impressed many by her reading of the Acts of the Apostles passage. One of the final pep talks I gave her before Mass started was, "now when you get up there, what are you going to do?" "I am going to read slowly, loudly and with excitement." Atta girl! A few parishioners stopped her afterward to compliment her delivery, which made me a proud momma.

She looked beautiful in her dress made by Grandma LaVonne and her shawl made by Grandma Katie. Other moms admired her ensemble, wishing they knew someone with that sort of talent.

She was reverent and well-behaved, and hardly twisted her face after taking the wine. One of the boys dramatically shook his head due to the distaste. We parents had a good chuckle at that.

(at the altar during Eucharistic prayer)

......

(Our little family)

(with her Godparents, Aunt Jeanine and Kristine)

After Mass, we hosted a reception at my parents' home and celebrated with mimosas, fruit, muffins, sweet breads, scones and parfaits. Young and old enjoyed themselves.

(Cate with her grandparents at my parents' home)

At gift opening time, Cate read all of her cards aloud, which delighted Grandma Katie and enjoyed all the gifts she received. Kyle and I followed the tradition started by my parents and gave Cate a children's bible. My parents gave her a rosary, which they plan to give all of their grandchildren on the occasion of their First Communions. She also received a Holy Spirit medal from her godmother Aunt Jeanine who purchased it in Rome back in 2004 when she was living in Europe. In addition to other wonderful gifts, she was excited for the cash and Target gift cards and was very eager to spend her money as soon as today. Fortunately, Kyle intervened and when she didn't find exactly what she wanted, he was able to convince her to not purchase anything "just because."

And because Cate's First Communion landed on Mother's Day (the third event to fulfill the trifecta), I made several floral arrangements for table centerpieces and gave them away as token gifts for all the ladies' homes. I recycled old International Foods Instant flavored coffee tins, wrapping them in scrapbook paper, trimming them with ribbon and filling them with tulips and roses. I was quite pleased with how well they came together.

Once we cleaned up after the party, delivered our Mother's Day cards, Kyle and I took a nap as the kids watched a movie. It ended up being a very full day, but a very fulfilling day as well.

Summer and junk

Blink and summer break is over. And I thought I would be posting updates of the fun we had as we were having it, but I guess that was not to be.

In short--it was a lovely summer. The a/c has logged in many hours. The kids are tanner, taller and bug-bitten. The grass is drying and dying. We are ready for school to be back in session--thankfully today was the first day of school.

So now that things are kicking back into gear, it seems life is coming back in order for me personally. I indicated in an earlier post about my unique diagnosis of premenstrual dysphoric disorder, of which depression is part of the package. Whether tied together or not, I developed full-blown depression over the past couple of years. Thankfully, I am dealing with moderate depression so the medication I have been taking the past two months coupled with therapy sessions are helping me feel "normal," balanced and in control.

What seem like simple, practical tasks were difficult or impossible for me to do, such as picking up the house, be productive at work, washing dishes, take a shower, have any desire to get out of bed. I gained a lot of weight because my eating habits were trashed. I didn't care what I looked like anyway. I couldn't put the kids to bed because I didn't have the patience to deal with them if they misbehaved. I wasn't interested in playing with them or be in the moment. Even when I was in a room with others, I felt alone. I just couldn't understand how this was happening to me and I didn't know how to fix it.

Kyle did his best to help out. It took him a long time to see that something was wrong, yet it took me longer to realize just how bad it had become. How can anyone be depressed during the summer? There is no vacation just because the sun is out, I guess.

So in late June, I finally went back to see my doctor. Indeed the medication I had been on for the previous year-and-a-half lost its effectiveness or my condition evolved and wasn't meeting my new mental health needs. So she prescribed me something else and we discussed other options such as therapy. I was hesitant to seek therapy again, since my initial consult back in '08 was so disappointing. I didn't want to consult with other therapists who also felt I just had to get my shit together (like the initial psychologist more or less said to me).

Yet, it seemed that the medication alone was not going to help me move forward. So I did some more research and found a therapist who seems to be a very good fit. It's amazing what I've been able to accomplish since working with her in such short time. I always leave with one new goal in mind to address for the week and these goals have been building upon eachother such that I'm in a much better place now.

So yeah, things are looking up. I'm excited and hopeful for the next day, week and year(s).

Thanks for sticking around. I'll do my best to get back into blogging mode for you.

A new little baby boy

Exciting news in the extended family...my brother Carl and his wife Claire adopted a beautiful little boy, Silas Maurice, born February 18. Miles is the proud, and from what I understand, helpful, big brother. The 3rd generation of Al and LaVonne Iversons may be complete now. But I'll leave that to Carl, Eric and their wives to make the final determination...

Does Silas have the Quade nose? You be the judge.

Sunday is Football and Family Day

I can not believe that I haven't written about game day since I started my blog. We are Vikings fans--100% (okay, I can not attest what team(s) Carl and Clair follow, but they don't live in Minnesota anyway). I don't know if we would allow a marriage in our family to a Packers fan--it would be just too incompatible and downright ugly on those two match-ups each season. It would be worse than a Catholic marrying a Lutheran--uff da (truly this is a joke--my Dad was Lutheran before he married my Mom, Kyle was Methodist when I married him)!

Gosh, about 12 years ago, eldest sister Jeanine started the tradition of building the season calendar and everyone would bring one appetizer or sweet treat to the Bassett home and watch the game together as a family. Back then, 3:00 and later games were pizza games. Each family would chip in $5 per head.

The weekly pot-luck eventually got cumbersome, so we moved to each household "owning" a noon game and bringing the entire food spread. Pizza games were still at 3:00 and evening games were preceded with a full dinner typically made by Jeanine or Mom.

Unless otherwise specified, all games are still at the Bassett home. When the Bassetts were in Switzerland for three years, we all took turns hosting at our homes. That carried on into the first season the Bassetts returned, but I'm pretty sure we have now settled in on the Bassett home or Mom and Dad's home for family celebrations, such as today.

Tuesday is Jeanine's birthday, so the family got together for game day in the parents' basement. There were 17 of us, 9 adults, 8 kids. Mom got a little carried away with the food, making sure she had some of Jeanine's favorites: taco dip and chips, corned beef cheese ball with crackers, cheese, sausage, apples, grapes, m&ms, peanuts, puffcorn, bacon wrapped 'lil smokies, veggies and dip, I'm sure I've forgotten something... At least we were able to stop Mom from making chicken nuggets because there was plenty of food and the kids were already done eating before she wouldn't even gotten them in the oven.

Baby Howie, Brooke, Steve, Jeanine

Jolene, Nick, Papa, Eric

What's left of the food

Even though this is our weekly get together and there is some chatter catching up with what everyone has been up to, we actually watch the game. And what about the kids? They are left to their own devices, and for the most part, they know the drill and don't walk in front of the TV during an active play.

Millie, Cate, Henry, Jack and Max playing legos

The Vikes are off to a good start being 2-0. The first half has been challenging to watch as they don't break out until the second half. I am sure hoping the Favre deal is worth it. I am thrilled he's here, despite how odd it is seeing him in a Vikings uniform. We have a better shot with him than without him to go pretty deep into the post-season. And how awesome is Adrian Peterson?

We are ready for some football!

Goin' "Down Home"

These days, we find ourselves going "Down Home" for family reunions or funerals. Today we went down for a funeral. My Great Aunt Hannah passed away at the age of 93 after a brief illness while in the hospital recovering from successful surgery. Fortunately, until two weeks ago, she was feeling fabulous, so we are blessed to have had her on this earth for so long. The service was lovely, honoring my Great Aunt perfectly.

The funeral was out at a country church in Southwest Minnesota. I, Kyle, my brother Eric, sisters Jolene and Jeanine and Jeanine's son, Nick all traveled down in one vehicle. It has been a long time we adults have been together to just visit, so a combined six hours stuck together in a car was really an enjoyable time.

It was an incredibly gorgeous day with a light breeze and not a cloud in the sky. It's no wonder why it's always so nice to be down there, no matter the reason.

The cool thing about small town funerals is the familiar environment it offers. Everything you could imagine about a cliche church basement luncheon was exactly on point here. As we entered the church, we were greeted by the wafts of hot-dish. Yum! One could hear the glass dishes clinking against each other and the folding chairs skidding on the floor as the ladies from the funeral luncheon circle got everything set while we filed into the church. After the service and interment, we proceeded to the church basement and found a spot at one of the many tables practically set with plates, water glasses, coffee cups, coffee carafe, creamer powder, sugar packets, water pitcher, salt and pepper packets, a pickle / relish dish, a salad bowl, a basket of buttered breads / buns, and a glass platter with a variety of homemade cupcakes.

The salads varied from table to table. Most were some variety of jello salad. Some had fruit set in the jello, others had fruit and whipped cream creating more of an opaque jello salad. Our table had a fruit salad dressed in something I wasn't sure about. It was the sort of salad where many, many cans of fruit cocktail were cracked open and tossed along with mini marshmallows into the right-sized goldenrod Tupperware "fix 'n mix" bowl.

When the "Amen" concluded Grace before the meal, the hot-dish made its arrival to each of the tables--scalloped potatoes and cubed ham. The cheese sauce was added on top of the piping hot sliced potatoes which caused some slight scalding. Oh well...it didn't matter...it tasted like carb heaven going down.

After a while, someone from another table came holding a salad and inquired about swapping bowls, which we gladly agreed to the trade. In return for our fruit cocktail salad, we got a cherry jello salad with raspberries set in and whipped cream frosted on top. It was a refreshing finish to sooth the tongue burnt from the hot potatoes.

Back to that glass platter of cupcakes...there were probably four or five different varieties on our platter alone--a yellow cupcake with chocolate frosting, a white one with pink frosting and m&m's on top, a white one with marshmallow cream frosting and sprinkles on top, and my absolute favorite--a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter frosting. That was one of my grandma's specialties. I took advantage of that sentimental moment and informed my mom that I would like a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting for my birthday in October. It was very difficult to have just one. We made sure Nick, my 13-year old nephew, ate three cupcakes and my brother Eric ate two cupcakes so the platter was empty as we left the table to visit with other family.

Kyle's remark about the luncheon? "I see they don't really take diabetics into consideration when planning their menu." Oh well, that's what the insulin is for, right? :)

When saying our good-byes, we were told by Hannah's son-in-law that we should be sure to stop by Hannah's farm to see her beautiful lily gardens, which we glady obliged. I wish I had gotten a shot of those gardens; they were stuffed with gorgeous lilies at peak blooming, it was so wonderful to see those beautiful garden beds which gave her such great joy.

And because we were down in the area, we made the wide circle and drove down through Storden. We noticed the playground on the old school lot is now over-grown with weeds. We reminisced about the time I did a header down the tall slide with Jeanine on watch and another time when Jolene tied my shoelaces in double-knots on the merry-go-round and told me to ask my really good-looking second cousin to rescue me who was on his way down to shoot hoops. I am not sure why all the memories were related to me, but ahhh, the good times...

We drove by my grandma's house appropriately situated on Pleasant Avenue. It looks great and someone seems to be living there, which is a positive thing since many of these little farm communities are slowly fading to nothing.

Something very cool is changing the landscape down in the farmland; huge wind turbines are dotting the horizon, their powerful arms perfectly rotating with the swift prairie breeze. This is great potential for the future sustainability of the community and a positive step in maximizing alternate energy solutions.

Even though it was a time of sadness, it was also a time of thankfulness for the simple things in life--family, generosity of community, God's beauty in nature and fantastic church basement luncheons.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Max (like-a-week-and-a-half-ago)

So the wee little one turned three on April 26. We had a great day, despite the rain. It was alright because we had not planned on eating our meal outside, but I was a bit concerned Kyle would be stuck grilling while getting drenched. Grandparents, Godmother Jolene and Great Uncle Cliff came to celebrate with us. We served brats, hamburgers, potato salad, fruit salad, pickles and chips.After singing "Happy Birthday" it was time for Max to blow out the candles. It took him four or five attempts and a little help from Cate to get all three candles out. We cheered him on when the flames were no longer. I baked a chocolate cake which I decided to forego my sloppy writing decoration and settled for doodles instead. Regardless, it tasted Pillsbury fresh.



When time came for opening gifts, Cate was clearly more eager than Max to move on to the next gift. He took his sweet time opening the envelopes, listening to the messages, unwrapping the gift and really take what he received. He enjoyed each and every one of his gifts. Our kids are so lucky.


His favorite gifts, by far, are his plush Wall*E doll--from his favorite movie--and his very own light saber. Now he joins the ranks of his big sister and Daddy wielding a light saber. It's been heard more than once around here that Cate thinks I should have a green light saber for Mother's day. Who knows?

Quiet brings ramblings in the rambler

It's getting late. I can't recall the last time Kyle went to bed before me. He only goes before me when he is sick, as is the case this evening.


The kids are both sick too.

I took Cate back to Urgent Care this afternoon--her second trip in five days. Her fever would never go away. Finally, an ear infection was detected today. Poor girl. She was out three days of school last week and missed her first school Valentine's Day party, a school Sock Hop, her basketball game, her date with Kyle to see a play at the Children's Theater and she is now 0-for-2 on attending friend birthday parties. For the most part, she has been a real trooper. And of course, every time she so much as coughs to clear her throat, I get paranoid about her potential of having an asthmatic reaction.


Oh, Urgent Care clinic and Pediatrics office...just retain my bankcard number on file, okay?

But the quiet is nice. I'm not a morning person. No, I also believe if I tried to wake up a few minutes early to seek some solitude, it would not happen. Surely, I would hear the sound of tired little feet tripping my way, climbing up onto the couch and curling into the bend of my legs. It would be nice, but it would not be the quiet that is my companion at the moment.

It seems odd to think the hum from the lightbulb and the click-click-clicking of the handheld keyboard can be so comforting; an even more odd notion of comfort is the never-ending dull roll of the airplanes above arriving to and departing from the airport nearby.

This quiet gives me time to think. I can choose to freak out about everything I should be doing and fret about what I can't control or I can turn it around; let it go and be the best I can be each day, by being good not only to others but also to myself.

I think I am seeing progress here...

Tomorrow is coming, whether I like it or not. I choose to like it.

Hello...have we met?

I have caught wind from some of my blog followers that some of my posts have been causing concern and are downright depressing. And, by now, I think you have discovered that I live a mostly transparent life (there are a few things I choose to keep private). I say what's on my mind in the most passive-aggressive way possible--through writing. I hope that you can appreciate my candid manner and take it for what it is; for I consider you my friends.

Case in point:

I've been recently diagnosed with an interesting disorder called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)--it's a super-sized version of PMS. So if you've read some of my posts and / or encountered me in the past year and walked away thinking, "damn, that woman must be having PMS", you're almost right. I started to take note of a mood cycle, along with other symptoms, that evolved throughout the month every month for about a year. Don't worry, I am not going to go on a gynecological journey with you--that is one line I will not pass. First I thought my issues were dealing with my significant weight loss, work uncertainty, increased involvement at church or my daughter starting school. But it was bigger than that. I finally accepted I needed help when I couldn't even write my first and last name on a work form without practically hyper-ventilating.

So I willed myself to go to the doctor on my birthday of all days. My doctor is a sweet thing...fresh out of her residency and eager to just listen. I laid out my symptoms and she diagnosed me as having PMDD. I have had the distinct pleasure of experiencing most of the symptoms on the list:

• Mood swings
• Depressed mood or feelings of hopelessness
• Marked anger, increased interpersonal conflicts
• Tension and anxiety
• Irritability
• Decreased interest in usual activities
• Difficulty concentrating
• Fatigue
• Change in appetite
• Feeling out of control or overwhelmed
• Sleep problems
• Physical problems, such as bloating

I haven't had issues with marked anger, change in appetite or sleep problems. However, I had so much difficulty concentrating that I thought I was losing my hearing. I did take a audiology appointment and passed with flying colors.

One of the treatments for PMDD is to prescribe an anti-depressant. Wow. She passed me the written prescription and told me to fill it when the cyclical symptoms show up. It suddenly became surreal to me for a moment--I'm depressed. We talked some more and I inquired about seeing a counselor, which she gladly gave me a referral.

When I told my mom of my new diagnosis, I think I made her uncomfortable. Her general response was, "Well, you should continue to exercise. I understand exercise can help you feel better."

When I told my husband and asked him not to tell anyone in his family, he obliged me. I told a couple of close friends because they had noticed something wasn't quite right about me and expressed concern.

I didn't want to tell any more people than necessary at the time because I was embarrassed.

I was embarrassed because my life is quite simple and burden free. I think of my friends who moved cross-country, ended up living with family and can't sell their house in this economy. I think of my aunt who has pancreatic cancer. I think of my friend who hates her job, works crazy hours, isn't happy with where she is at this point in her life. I think of my other friend who went through hell and back trying to conceive a child on her own. I think of family and friends who lost pregnancies, lost jobs or whatever curveball life pitched them.

Those are real problems.

For me to be unable to handle life in general was very difficult to accept.

While I was not pleased with the notion of being on medication, I could only hang on for two weeks before the wave of symptoms came and hit me hard. I had that prescription filled in mid-November.

I did have one therapy appointment. In preparation for the appointment, I had to complete a form noting my mental health history. As I was checking the boxes, Kyle apparently did a double take. He said, "for a second there, I thought you had checked that you have had thought about suicide!" Thankfully, I am not and have not gone that far into a hole.

The mental health therapy appointment didn't go particularly well. I have to admit, I didn't know what to expect, but from my perspective during the appointment, the therapist seem very disinterested in my issues. At the end, she gave me her card while telling me that I seemed to be an intelligent person who is in general control of things and that I didn't need therapy... I interpreted that as: "Get your shit together and buck up." Needless to say, I left a bit disappointed.

I continue to take my medication and I feel much better. For the most part, I feel back to the old me. I chose to be on medication to ensure that I can function normally in my relationships with others--family, friends, co-workers--because they are so valuable to me and my problems were causing issues with most of my relationships and job performance. My intention is to eventually get off medication, but I am okay with the fact that I need it for now. I still have some shit to get together, but at least I'm more rational about things and can function day-to-day.

So there.

Four day birthday extravaganza, here I come!

It's finally here!

As soon as one semi-annual Duluth weekend ends, I look forward to the next one. Today is the day we drive north. I get particularly excited for the October trip because it invariably lands on or near my birthday. I call it my birthday retreat and thankfully my family tolerates such vanity.

And the icing on the cake? While we return home Sunday, I will be out of the office through Tuesday, which is my actual birthday. Did you know my birthday was coming up? No? Really?! In case you haven't read other previous posts, I LOVE my birthday. And this year, I have four days of pure birthday bliss. How awesome is that? With so much going on right now, this time off is going to be really valuable time to just slow down. This is a break that has been a long time in coming.

Blog you later...

Happy Anniversary Carl and Claire!

It's my brother and sister-in-law's wedding anniversary today. Phew...it's hard to believe four years have gone by so quickly. I went back to the photo archives and found a few photos I took on their wedding day. It was a gorgeous day in Santa Fe; an event I will never forget.

Congratulations, Carl and Claire, and best wishes for many more wonderful years.

The lovely couple

Cate - 20 months

Our little family

Other things from this past week

It's been a while between posts and things have been pretty busy around here.

Monday was our niece Thora Beth Jensen's first birthday party. It was celebrated during a waffle breakfast. She wouldn't even touch the whipped cream on the waffle because she doesn't like to get dirty. I foresee an easy potty-training phase for Kurt and Amy.

Last Tuesday, I attended my first Parish Pastoral Council meeting. I have signed up for a three-year term. Kyle is opting to refer to me as Madam Councilwoman instead of Madam Secretary. Ha!

Wednesday night, Cate enjoyed celebrated her cousin Matthew's 5th birthday by going to the Park at MOA with him. He didn't want to go on any of the rides, so she went on them without him. Afterwards, Matthew's mom hosted a party for him at McDonald's.

Thursday marked Cate's first day of school which was incredibly successful.

Also on Thursday, an announcement was made at work regarding yet another position change for me. I am swapping positions with a counterpart who will take over Email Marketing. Effective immediately, I am now the Manager for Online Programming which oversees the promotional presence and on-site search optimization for our website. I have a team of three which will soon increase to four. I am reporting to a guy I have worked for in a previous position, so I know exactly what to expect in that regard.

Friday night, my back went out while I was hoisting Max into bed by his diaper butt. Fortunately, Kyle hadn't left the house yet, so he helped me out and got the kids to bed.

Saturday, we entertained Kyle's parents and aunt for dinner. It wasn't the most flawless evening in the world. We barely got the house "fake-cleaned"; we hadn't started our food until they arrived; Jane couldn't eat 2/3 of what we prepared; Max played his usual antics of not cooperating at bedtime. After our guests left, I started having back spasms that I was more than willing to exchange for labor pains.

Today we stayed home and watched a lot of NFL at home while eating heartily. I promise to start counting my points again tomorrow.

And here we are, closing out one week and looking forward to another. Hopefully it will slow down soon. But somehow, I doubt it.

We've been busy!

Friday night, July 25: Dance like you've never danced before
I got together with my girlfriend Shayna to see her husband's band, Series 5, and we danced all night long. I highly promote seeing this band. This photo was taken at the end of a very long night of dancing. Not drinking. Just dancing.

Saturday, July 26th: Downtown and a walk to the Lake
Kyle had to get a haircut downtown, so we all went. The kids had a snack while we waited, then we all enjoyed lunch and a bit of shopping at Macy's. Cool stuffed animals in the children's department.

yummy cookie

Is that a rat in Cate's hands?

After dinner, we went down to the lake to check out the ducks and walk on the dock...

Kyle giving Max a hand at the dock

Sunday, July 27th: Iverson Baby Baptism and a Visit with the Colemans
Sunday was a Godparents' extravaganza. The newest member of the Iverson clan, our nephew Howard Michael Iverson, was baptized at Mass. Kyle and I, along with oldest nephew Jack, are the honored Godparents. A luncheon was hosted by my parents at church.

Only my mother would arrange the meat so perfectly...

cousin Charlie and Max

Cate and cousin Nick

I can't resist holding a baby

Later on, I bopped over to Da and Nonna (Patrick and Donna) Coleman's house for a short visit and welcomed Cate, Elizabeth, Robert and Colleen Coleman as they begin a new adventure by moving from VA to live in MN. It was good to see all of them and we look forward to more fun in the future.

my goddaughter Colleen with her Pa (great-grandpa)

Time with family and friends, what could be better?

Another 5K

Time to Fly Run5K Results Jun 28th, 2008 - St. Paul, MN

#.......Name...............OVERALL......TIME......PACE

4773...Nick Bassett..........129/456............26:31..........8:32
4753...Carl Iverson..........152/456............27:13..........8:46
4770...Eric Iverson..........153/456............27:14..........8:46

4769...Jennifer Jensen....367/456............35:15.........11:21

I ran my first 5K back in April with a finish time of 36:11. I have run four times since then, so I was quite pleased with the latest finish time, shaving off almost an entire minute. I ran with my two older brothers, Eric and Carl, and Nick, my 12 year old nephew/godson. We had a small fan section--Mom, Dad, Steve (Nick's Dad) and Miles (Carl's 21 month old son).

(Eric, Carl, me and Nick before the race)

The weather was fabulous--high 60s and cloudy with a slight breeze. An isolated shower came in just as I was coming in at the finish. The course was a simple layout--long leg out, long leg back with a downhill entry to the finish. What a way to kick it into high gear for the final stretch.

My problem this race was that at about the 2 mile mark, I had to pee so damn bad. So I didn't dare pick up the pace lest I wet myself. So I held out until the end with my final burst. I bee-lined it to the biffy as quickly as I could after I ran through the finish chute. The port-o-potty couldn't have been a sweeter sight to my eyes.

(After the race)

Anyway, another race has been chalked up; my third registered run. I think I've caught the running bug. I've got a couple more coming up in September and I'll have to see what's out there for July / August. Anyone interested?

Woot-woot!

A whole lotta family lovin' going on...

Yep, for the first time in four years, my entire family will be reunited. Four years ago, there were 16 of us; now there are 20. Carl and family from Houston are coming for a visit this weekend. That means there will be a lot of family togetherness going on.

This evening begins the fun: we're invited over to my parents after 7 pm to see Carl and son Miles. Carl's wife, Claire will be arriving tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, I run a 5K with my Eric, Carl and our 12-year old nephew Nick. I am pretty sure I will start the race with the boys, but will be about ten minutes behind them at the finish. That's just fine by me.

Saturday evening, it's the Iverson Family Singers leading the music at Mass. Two nephews are alter boys. The non-singing sibling, Carl will be the lector. We then have dinner at Jeanine's house.

Sunday is my parents' 45th wedding anniversary. Amazing! We will be having a (hopefully) quiet dinner at the parents' house. It will be a collaborative effort. My contribution? I am in charge of providing the kids' meal for 8 kids ranging from 22 months to 13 years' old. Hmm, what to make...

I hope your weekend plans are a little less involved than ours are. Or on the flipside, I hope it's just as fulfilling. I'd like to hear what you've got planned, so drop a comment.

Have a good one!

Duluth--May, 2008

Twice a year we head up to Duluth and the North Shore for a weekend getaway. Typically, it's the four of us and my sister Jolene. This time, my parents and my nephew Nick came along. We left the Cities after Nick got out of school at got to the top of Duluth around 5:30pm. There, we had a picnic in 60 degree weather. But the sky was clear, the sun was out, so it felt fine. The kids had an opportunity to run around for a bit before we checked into the cottage we rented for the weekend, the Hillside Cottage Guest House. It was a perfect arrangement for the eight of us.

After we dropped our bags off, we headed to Canal Park for some rock skipping, boat watching and shopping. We returned to the cottage and played a few games of Yahtzee.


Saturday morning, Dad discovered some bunnies were stuck just outside their bedroom's egress window, so he and Nick rescued them. Nick enjoyed showing off one of the bunnies before he sent it on its way.

Gooseberry Falls Day! It would be really quite odd if we went all the way to Duluth and didn't get to Gooseberry Falls. Cate likes to climb the rocks near the falls. We like to take the half mile hike to the lakeshore. There is a particular rock at the lakeshore that is a special spot for Jolene. Everyone but Mom chose to get up there. For me personally, I was pleased because it's been probably 8 years since I climbed it because of my weight. I scaled it in no time. Phew! An awesome feeling.

After Gooseberry Falls, we enjoyed lunch at Betty's Pies and hit a few shops on the way back to the cottage. Max and I took naps while the rest of the clan headed out for Vigil Mass. Upon their return, Dad stayed back with the three kids while the rest of us hit a few more shops and picked up Sammy's Pizza for dinner back at the cottage. Jolene and Nick worked on food prep for Mother's Day brunch, Kyle and the kids watched some Winnie the Pooh and we closed yet another night with Yahtzee and then Apples to Apples.

Sunday morning started with a wonderful brunch made by Jolene and her helpers, Nick, Dad and Kyle, while I, Mom, Cate and Max hung around. Jolene served strata, caramel pull apart and strawberries. Delicious and hard to know when to stop eating. We then cleaned up, packed up and checked out. We look forward to staying there again.

Max horsing around (I know, not original...)

Much to Dad's dismay, we hit a few more shops we didn't hit earlier in the weekend. Afterwards, we hopped onto the Skyline Parkway in search of Chester Creek Park. Cate was in her element again, hiking the trails, but she was slightly disappointed there weren't more rocks to climb.

We then searched for lunch on they way out of town and got back to the Cities by 6:00pm. It was a whirlwind weekend, but every time we return from Duluth, we are refreshed and ready to take on the day-to-day until the next Duluth getaway opportunity presents itself. Any day now...